first waking up

when i’m meditating regularly, it seems i’m more aware of my dreams when i first wake up. the more i’m aware of them, the more i see how my day starts with what seems like a completely random emotional state. the dreams and how i react to them creates a certain mood or situation, and then that carries over to my first waking moments. the dream is gone, but i find my first thoughts of the day colored by or inspired by these emotional states of mind. so if in my dreams i’m sad, angry, or fearful then my first thoughts about the coming day are framed that way.

i’ve heard some advice to plan a regular meditation practice for first thing in the morning. it doesn’t seem to really ‘clear out’ those emotions so i’m starting the day fresh, but it’s making it easier to see how these winds of emotional energy are pushing me this way or that. and though the dreams that set my mood are perhaps representative of my underlying state of being, for the most part they seem random and really unrelated to my new day. so i’m generally starting each day rolling a pair of dice to see what mood i’ll be in. it’s such a weird process and perhaps unhelpful. i’d like to get better at seeing how this is happening each day so i won’t be ruled by the emotions, so i can just label it all as just “thinking” and go on with my day with some freshness and openness.

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rolling latex

most of my weekend was dedicated to painting our new shambhala center, with my fellow meditators. even with low emission, non-toxic paint i’m still a little high from the experience. tonight we were at it again, for three more hours of rolling latex on walls, and tomorrow will be more of the same.

the space has three rooms, one large room which will hold our shrine and meditation cushions. an entry way and small office completes the space. we must finish all the painting mid-week, when the new wood floor will be ready for installation.

eating meat

here’s an interesting article by the head chef at a tibetan buddhist retreat center about why they serve meat, which indirectly talks about why tibetan buddhists historically eat meat.

his holiness and the olympics

before i volunteered at the 2002 winter olympics, i was almost worried that seeing rivalry between fans of different countries would break my heart. but what i found instead was the most wonderful slice of humanity, people who may be face painted and wearing viking horns while cheering for Norway, would embrace their Swedish or German neighbor in song and celebration.

and the athletes were just as kind and open to each other. at the biathlon afterparty, volunteers and athletes were arm and arm. as i was leaving, biathlon wonderkind Ole Einar Bjoerndalen, had a German under one arm and a Russian under the other and he was inviting everyone back to his hotel to continue the party.

today i discovered a commentary written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama on a religious conference coinciding with the olympics. he writes:

Although everyone wishes to live in peace, we are often confused about how it can be achieved. Violence inevitably leads to more violence. This is not the solution, certainly not in the long term. Today, more and more people realize that the proper way of resolving differences is through dialogue, compromise and discussions, through human understanding and humility. There is a growing appreciation that genuine peace comes about through mutual understanding, respect and trust. The Olympic Games take place in just this spirit.

perception and meditation

Just read this pithy explanation of “impure perception” in the vajrayana buddhist view, from dzongsar khyentse rinpoche:

Impure perception at the moment is basically everything that we see, perceive, and label. This is not because something is wrong out there, and that’s why everything is impure. Instead, it is because at the moment, our being is covered either by desire, jealousy, pride, ignorance, or aggression. So whenever we perceive something it is always through these five emotions. When looking at a person, we may look at them through the filter of passion, and therefore, will see them as very desirable. Looking at another person, and seeing them through the lens of aggression, will cause us to see them as very ugly and hideous. When perceiving others through our own insecurity, we make judgments, refer, and compare, so that we finish up either trying to defend or boost our pride, which is a result that is stemming from ignorance. The list goes on and on. All the different perceptions we have are only arising from our very own minds and are coming through these emotions. So that is why everything we experience always ends up being some kind of a disappointment. Regardless of whether it is felt in a big or a small way doesn’t really matter, the point is there is always a little bit of disappointment. This is what we are trying to purify.

i interpret the idea of purifying as meditation practice so that we can simultaneously see the perception and the lens that it is perceived through, instead of just thinking the former is reality. as we meditate, we sharpen both our awareness of how perceptions arise and the state of our mind that they arise in.