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this weekend I read another book by Pema Chödrön, where she described a set of 1300 year old self-help teachings called in tibetan the lojong instructions. they were brought to tibet from india by atisha. Geshe Chekhawa five hundred years later was using them to treat lepers but noticed that these teachings were helping his ornery, stubborn brother become a nicer, more centered person. if they could help his brother, he figured, maybe they would be generally useful.
anyway, there is a visualization exercise that’s part of these instructions. i tried it months ago but it clicked for me more this weekend. click on the “more” link for details.
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William Blake might have been sharing the same warning about attachment that I’ve been hearing in Buddhist texts when he wrote:
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sun rise
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Jeez. How many stupid security bubbles are there? I feel like that boy in the bubble.
I was craving a coke after lunch, I could almost taste the sweet yet slightly acidic flavor on the back of my tongue. Since this was a craving, I started thinking about the underlying feeling. Instead of an aversion I think this was an example of a positive experience hooking me. I like the flavor of a coke. I’m attached to the experience of the coke and I’m disappointed if I don’t get one sometimes.
The following obsessive little story played out in my head:
- “Caffeine is bad, I should try to resist the temptation to have a coke”
- “It would be better if I could kick caffeine altogether”
- “Once you have more than one a day you’re really getting hooked”
- “Awwww… It’s just a coke.”
- “If I have one now it’s ok, it’s before dinner time so it won’t keep me up late.”
- “Why am I addicted to these darn things? This is awful to have an addiction to something even if it’s inane like that.”
Then from these comments would cascade feelings about self discipline and freedom to experience pleasure and how I adhere to a path or not in life, etc. All in the span of about a second or two. Amazing how much dialog and reaction fits into just a moment.
If I didn’t get a coke, like if we were out of them in the office, I’m sure there would have been more feelings about “not getting what I want” or “the world not meeting my expectations” in some small way. I might feel a low grade disappointment. Basically I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t have a coke.
I asked myself, “can I really be indifferent to whether I get a coke or not right now? can I really be free to have a choice or are all these story lines and feelings about them ultimately going to make the decision for me?”
Then I drank a coke.
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Jeez. How many stupid security bubbles are there? I feel like that boy in the bubble.
I was craving a coke after lunch, I could almost taste the sweet yet slightly acidic flavor on the back of my tongue. Since this was a craving, I started thinking about the underlying feeling. Instead of an aversion I think this was an example of a positive experience hooking me. I like the flavor of a coke. I’m attached to the experience of the coke and I’m disappointed if I don’t get one sometimes.
The following obsessive little story played out in my head:
- “Caffeine is bad, I should try to resist the temptation to have a coke”
- “It would be better if I could kick caffeine altogether”
- “Once you have more than one a day you’re really getting hooked”
- “Awwww… It’s just a coke.”
- “If I have one now it’s ok, it’s before dinner time so it won’t keep me up late.”
- “Why am I addicted to these darn things? This is awful to have an addiction to something even if it’s inane like that.”
Then from these comments would cascade feelings about self discipline and freedom to experience pleasure and how I adhere to a path or not in life, etc. All in the span of about a second or two. Amazing how much dialog and reaction fits into just a moment.
If I didn’t get a coke, like if we were out of them in the office, I’m sure there would have been more feelings about “not getting what I want” or “the world not meeting my expectations” in some small way. I might feel a low grade disappointment. Basically I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t have a coke.
I asked myself, “can I really be indifferent to whether I get a coke or not right now? can I really be free to have a choice or are all these story lines and feelings about them ultimately going to make the decision for me?”
Then I drank a coke.
sitting monkey is place where