soaking in it

i’ve been soaking in my madhyamaka retreat for a few days now, and it feels like i’m cooking in an oven.

madhyamaka isn’t so much presenting a buddhist view of reality as it is exhausting all of our existing views. that’s why it is called the middle way school of buddhism, it leaves one in a groundlessness between existence of self (e.g. christianity), non-existence of self (e.g. existentialism), both existence and non-existence of self simultaneously (like some new age beliefs), and neither existence nor non-existence simultaneously of self (e.g. taoism). confusing, eh? basically it analyzes deeply any attachment to solid, permanent beliefs you may be holding onto about the nature of “self” and “other”. this is beneficial because often those views we hold are narrow.

imagine someone coming up to you and saying “you suck” or “you’re a lousy friend”. that might sting. there is a solidity about that view, it’s fixed in time and quality. to relate to the statement one has to think in an absolute sense, like that property of “sucks” or “lousy” are independent of the larger situation and independent of the person making the statement. madhyamaka is saying any interpretation like that is flawed and ignores the constantly changing nature of phenomenon and self, as well as the interdependent nature of self and other. maybe after much meditation and study, i’ll immediately see any statement like those as flawed. it would be nice to catch critical statements aimed toward myself and others - especially those popping up in my own mind - and open to a clearer view on the spot.

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back but without a break

well my five weeks in colorado are now complete, and i feel pretty overwhelmed by the amount of practice and study that was crammed into that period. like a long day of white water rafting, i’m tired and happy and content.

but without taking the time to absorb it all, i’m starting another buddhist class tonight in san francisco. this program will comment on a portion of the madhyamakavatara by the indian philosopher chandrakirti. i’m a fan of the teacher, dzongsar khyentse rinpoche, the tibetan lama and movie director who created the films the cup and travellers and magicians.